Oh what a battle I've been in for the past week....
If you're wondering what I've been doing, here's a little picture.....nurse Lucy for 20-30 min. (add on another 10 for diaper change and trying to keep her awake). Then give her a supplemental bottle which takes about 10 min. And then pump for 20 min. Then add in another 5 to clean all the pump parts and bottle. Add that all up and I have less than an hour before Lucy gets hungry again. Fun stuff, huh?
Today we went back to my lactation consultant. The good news is Lucy is up to 7 pounds 8 oz so she's gaining what she's supposed to. But the consultant and I talked about how I've been following this routine, taking oodles of herbal supplements (11 at each meal!) and the increase in my supply has been minimal. We decided that there is most likely something physiological going on with me that is affecting my supply. It is unlikely we can find out what until I'm further along in my post partum recovery. And even if we do all these different tests and labs in a month, they still might not show anything. I simply can't keep up the routine for that long.
So I have decided to just nurse Lucy for as long as she wants and then offer a bottle after she nurses. Thankfully Lucy has shown no signs of nipple confusion. Now that might change- she might realize that if she's going to get a bottle anyway, there's no point in trying that hard to nurse. If that happens, so be it. If I dry up, then oh well. I'll just be done and that'll be it.
Of course I wish that things had gone differently for us. But I'm not going to let this get me down like I did with Taylor. Instead of feeling sad and envious of women who breastfeed with no problems, I am going to choose to be happy. I will be proud of my friends for choosing to breastfeed and be glad that they aren't having to go through what I went through.
Just knowing that I will start to get somewhat of a life back is a huge relief to me. No matter what, I know that I absolutely did my best and I'm still a good mom.
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I completely understand what you're going through, Joanna :) I know you're trying your best, and there's nothing else you can do! What's important is your happiness and Lucy's health and comfort :) So in short, I'm thinking of you and can completely empathize!
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