Taylor is 18 Months

Stats:
Weight: 19 lbs 10 oz
Height: 30 inches

Still a shrimp, nothing new there.  The nice thing is her summer clothes should probably work well for Lucy next summer. 

Development: Taylor has learned how to go up stairs (despite us not having stairs in the house) and she can go down them if we hold her hand.  She loves to climb but thankfully she doesn't try and climb everything in the house.  She also runs a little (mostly away from us, of course) and sometimes I catch her walking backwards.  It's really funny because she'll be all slow and cautious about it.  We're working on our throwing arm as everything she throws tends to go backwards.  But I'm not in a big rush to have her start throwing toys.
As I've suspected for a few months, Taylor is behind in her language development.  Being a teacher, I'm secretly paranoid she's going to have autism or something.  However, we have a great pediatrician who referred us to Early Intervention of Champaign County.  So sometime soon, this whole team of people will come to our house and evaluate Taylor in all areas of development.  If she is more than 30% behind in an area, she'll qualify for therapeutic services.  Of course I don't really understand where we went "wrong" with her language and maybe we didn't.  I mean, we talk to her all the time (you should hear the one-sided conversations I have with her in the car) and we read to her every single day.  I don't know what else we could be doing.  And who knows, maybe one of these days she'll just start exploding with words.  One can hope......
As I've always said, she comprehends more than she says.  But now I'm thinking maybe that's lacking too.  It's so hard to accept that she's not developing on track because of course I blame myself.  I'm trying not to drive myself crazy by asking "what could I have done differently?"  I'm quite anxious to have her evaluation done and see what we can do to help her.
I'll have to post an update once we know more.

An Answer

I went to see my OB this morning.  She said that on my ultrasound it looked like a piece of retained placental tissue.  phew!  They did another ultrasound today to see if it was still there.  It was smaller but still there.  Also, my OB thinks since the image is so white it's more likely a piece of the amniotic sac, not the placenta.  So I have to go in on Thursday for a D&C.  Actually it's a hysteroscopy and a D&C.  A hysteroscopy is where they insert a camera and take pictures of your uterus.  Fun stuff huh?  I even get copies of the pictures, whoopee!  Okay clearly I'm using humor to mask my apprehensiveness about this.  Don't get me wrong- I'm SO glad it's nothing more serious.  But the thought of general anesthesia scares me and the diagrams of how a D&C is performed in the brochure they gave me made me shudder. 
I asked my OB if this could be the reason why I have struggled with my supply and she said absolutely.  That made me feel infinitely better.  Now I KNOW I didn't do anything wrong and that there's nothing wrong with my body (in a sense).  It's amazing to me that something so small (7mm) could screw with your hormones that much.   So I'm praying that after this tissue is removed I'll see a nice improvement in my supply.  Although I'm not as worried about it as I was considering for the past week I've been able to meet Lucy's demands.  It helps that she simply does not eat a lot.
So you might be wondering if my supply improves will I try to go back to breastfeeding.  Honestly, I don't know.  It's not something I would try while school is still in session.  It would be great b/c obviously in the long run, breastfeeding is easier than EPing.   But at the same time, Lucy is so lazy when she eats I'm afraid it would be more of a headache than just sticking to EPing.  I'll keep thinking about it.  I don't know much about teaching a baby to relatch so I would have to do some research.
Anyway, thank you to all who prayed, I just ask for prayers for Thursday.  I know this procedure is minor and they do it all the time (sadly) but I'm still nervous.

Back to the Doctor

Okay I was going to type out a whole long explanation of why I'm going in to see my OB on Monday and then I realized that the things I was typing were things that people might consider TMI.  I don't have a problem sharing, but I don't want people to get grossed out.  So I'll just say this, I had an ultrasound done 2 weeks ago to check things out.  They found a spot on my endometrial layer and at the time the midwife I met with said it didn't look like anything serious but she would have my OB look at it.  My OB's office called me on Wednesday and said my OB wants to see me this Monday morning to "come up with a plan."  Ummm yeah I freaked out.   I don't know what that means.  I asked the nurse and she said "well to go over your ultra sound and talk about if you're still bleeding and she may want to do another ultra sound."  So I don't know what my OB is thinking that spot is but needless to say I've been a little worried ever since that phone call.  I've been thinking about it a lot and what I'm almost hoping is that the spot is a piece of retained placenta.  This would certainly explain some of the things that have been going on, including my struggle to build a decent milk supply.
So I guess my point in posting this is please feel free to send prayers and positive thoughts my way.  I'll post again once I know something.  Thanks!

Lucy is 2 Months!

....and ten days technically.  But I didn't want to post until I had her "official" growth stats. 

Weight: 10 lbs 12 oz
Height: 23 inches

I'm not going to stress about how much she's eating anymore!  She's gained almost 2 pounds so clearly she's getting enough.  I was worried because she usually takes between 20-24 oz in a 24 hour period and I didn't think that was enough (going by the old multiply their weight by 2.5 for how many oz they should take) but she's getting mostly breastmilk so that changes things.  I have to remember that breastmilk has more fat (and nutrients!) in it than formula. 

What She's Doing: smiling!  My little girl loves to smile- she's been doing it for over a month now.  She is also cooing and she is working very hard on figuring out thumb-sucking.  I'm trying just as hard to prevent it.  She has rolled over a few more times but I have to admit I'm not as vigilant about tummy time with her as I was with Taylor.  I guess I just worry about her being on the floor with the dog, Taylor, the cat, Taylor.....I need to be better about putting her on her tummy when Taylor is in bed. 

And the girls now share a room.  We got our new dresser on Sunday, so the girls inherited our old dressers (formerly our nightstands) leaving more space in their room so Lucy got the boot.  Honestly this would not have been possible if she wasn't sleeping through the night.  Yes that's right- she sleeps through the night.  She started the week before I went back to work.  Do you hate me now?  Both my girls started sleeping through the night before they were 2 months old.  Ready to really hate me?  Lucy sleeps from about 9:30-6:30.    BUT I still have to get up and pump so don't hate me too much.  =)

And of course we end with the obligatory pictures....

1 Month

Sunday marked 1 month of EPing.  1 month of being hooked up to a machine for 4 hours a day.  1 month of being milked like a cow (moooooo).  What has happened in that month?
Well, I have slowly gone from getting 15 oz per day to 20 oz per day.  I have tried just about every herb out there that is supposed to increase supply.  I just ordered a whole bunch online (it was on sale) and I"m hoping this combination will help even more.  I pray to God every day to make me a "super producer"- these are women who produce 50+ oz per day.  Oh could you imagine?  If I did that, I could build up a nice freezer stash and then quit pumping before Lucy was a year old and she'd still have breastmilk until her first birthday!  But I digress....
And while pumping has advantages, there are definitely disadvantages.  Like how Lucy sleeps through the night now.  But that doesn't mean I get to.  I still get up at 11:30, 2:30, and 5:30 (which is now when I'm up for the day) to pump.  It is pretty essential to keep up with my night pumps since that's when my prolactin levels are the highest.  Not gonna lie- it is torture dragging my butt out of bed but it's necessary.
I've been back at work for 2 days now.  I pump 5 times at work.  I know- that is a lot.  But it's necessary so I don't go too long between pump sessions.  So I pump when I get to school, mid morning (the library comes and takes my class for me), at lunch, on my plan time, and after school.  It's not too bad except I can only do work that requires limited mobility around the room.  So I grade papers, check email, etc. 
I also have been lugging the hospital pump back and forth.  Yeah that's a pain too but my pump just isn't as good.  I simply cannot do anything that would be detrimental to my supply at this point.
I have found a wonderful group on babycenter.com for moms who exclusively pump.  The ladies on there are wonderful.  I actually spend a lot of time on there while I'm pumping (but only at home- too much to do at school). 
Have I wanted to give up already?  Oh yeah definitely.  It's totally disheartening to work so hard for not even enough to feed Lucy with but I keep going because I know it's what's best for her.  Plus, I feel like I've sunk so much time and money into this already, it would be a waste to give up now. 
So 1 month down, 10 to go (I know that's only 11 months but Lucy was already almost a month old when I started EPing).  I can do it!!!